(The Universal Spiderweb by Armando Torres)
In his public talks, he was usually evasive about the sexual topic. He made jokes in this respect; he said disparagingly that each one could do whatever his desire was, insinuating that he didn’t give a damn what people do. On one occasion, however, speaking in private, he told me that those who truly wanted to follow the path of a warrior should abstain from sexual contact.
“Sex is like a faucet; every time it’s opened, the energy is lost; it doesn’t matter if it’s in an act with a partner, or simple masturbation. The waste is the same.”
“The seers perceive the orgasm as an energy explosion where the luminous fibers get agitated, and they make an effort to create a new life. An analogy could be a balloon that blows up until it explodes. The explosion invariably attracts the predators to feed off that waste of energy, since they are always around.”
That was a topic of the teachings that disturbed me greatly. At that time, I had a girlfriend and we had plans to get married. With the hope of reconciling my personal interests with the warrior path, I asked him what his opinion was about the sexual practices of the east.
He answered that for the sorcerers those were aberrations, and that if I wanted to keep going on the Toltec path, I would have to overcome my impulses.
The idea of living without a partner was very anguishing for me, so I told him: “But Carlos, in fact I don’t feel that I lose energy; in reality, having a partner makes me feel more balanced, and it helps me to stay in focus.”
“You’re free to live your life as it best suits you” he told me in a severe tone. “Abstinence is only for Toltecs. I commented on it to you because you told me that you want to follow the warrior’s path. In fact, your difficulty in advancing is because you’re wasting your sexual energy.”
Then he gave me an ultimatum, saying that if I wanted to continue, I should finish immediately with my relationship, and that otherwise, there was no cause for us to meet again.
I felt very sad, and suddenly I realized that the path that he was offering was too hard for me. I was pensive and crestfallen. He said kindly that he knew how I felt since he had gone through something similar. As if reading my thoughts, he said in a sarcastic way that I shouldn’t let it bother me because I would undoubtedly survive the lack of sex.
Before saying goodbye, he pronounced the phrase that was forever impressed in my mind: “There’s more to life than being born, reproducing and dying. Would you dare to investigate your hidden possibilities?”
I went through a long torture; there was a terrible conflict between my thoughts and my desires. On one hand, I understood the words of the nagual perfectly, but on the other hand, there was the physical and emotional compulsion that made me return time and again to my lover’s arms.
Today I can see that the nagual was in the right when he tried to protect me from repeating the history of my parents. It took me time to understand, but there’s no other way out, and there’s no time to lose. On this particular topic the warrior mustn’t hesitate. If he wants to advance on the path, he has to save energy at any cost, even when this means having to eradicate all kind of sensuality.
Carlos once said: “To reach this state, one has to commit himself deeply; he must be ready to fulfill all the requirements. This is a full-time battle, and it requires all the determination that one can muster in order to carry it out.”
“What should I do?” I asked.
He answered, “One begins to introduce discipline into his life; without that, it’s not even worthwhile attempting it. Then, with the capacity to make decisions and to carry them out, one reaches a higher energy level which opens the path to achieving even greater realizations, for example stopping the internal dialogue, dreaming, and being aware of himself.”
“The sorcerers are very cautious with the use of sexual energy because they know that it’s the true battery that moves everything. If one is able to take the control over his sexual impulses, he’ll be free to do everything else.”
“I avoid mentioning this topic openly because I’m aware that the price to be paid is too high for most people, but for those who seriously want to follow the path of the Toltecs, there is no other alternative: they have to charge the battery because otherwise they’ll never achieve anything.”
On another occasion, talking about this topic, he said that the erotic industry, such as night clubs, pornography, and all the sexual paraphernalia that exists is designed for the mind of the predator to keep the humans in a permanent state of energy exploitation.
“The most incredible thing is that we don’t even realize how we’re being so completely manipulated by our captors. In this sense, our situation is not much better than that of chickens.”
I remember that he used to compare the human condition with that of a chicken coop: he said that we have henhouses, “gallineros” and that the predators have humanhouses, “humaneros.”
“It’s amusing to see that those who think they’re rebels, acting on the margin of what’s morally accepted, are in fact only following the orders that they’ve imposed on us. Most of the time when people think that they’re exercising their free will, the only thing they do is obey the programming that the damned predators have imposed on us. This way, people voluntarily provide them with their precious energy.”
Carlos used to say that the true revolution doesn’t mean defecating on the table where you eat, but rather being aware. The rest are all idiocies induced by the flyer’s mind. For them, we’re the victims, completely predictable and easily manipulated.
“What we’ve seen is that people’s energy is at the height of the heels; that happens because every time it accumulates a little bit, it feels like sexual desire, and following the orders they impose on us, most people hurry to carry out draining acts, with a couple or in private, when they milk themselves through masturbation.”
“The main reason for people to live, invariably, always with such a low level of energy, is in great measure their own responsibility, since, with that kind of behavior, they empty themselves, so they’re directly responsible for the deplorable state that they live in.”
Years later, I brought up this same topic because I’d heard rumors, people saying that he himself was a lady’s man, and that he spent all his time in bed with women.
He smiled, and said that it was an exaggeration, but from his smile, I could see that there was something else behind it, so I insisted on asking him about it.
With a certain reluctance he said, “An apprentice should save his sexual energy, enough to reach the next level, but once he has achieved the control of the energy body, he’s free to do with his sexual energy whatever best suits him.”
He explained that the sexual act creates an energy bond among couples, and that this link can be very useful, in cases in which there’s a conscious intent on the part of the participants. He said: “For those who see it from the outside, it might appear to be an ordinary sexual relationship, but in fact, it’s a tool that has been used by naguals of all times. The sorcerers fuse their energy through sex, and in this way, it’s possible not only to transmit complete blocks of knowledge to the couple, but also to create bonds for life.”
“I still don’t understand it. Are sorcerers able or not to maintain a relationship as a couple?” By then, I myself had already gone several years without any activity. He answered, “As I’ve already told you before, some can, others can’t; it’s like that because each one is different. Each person has different energy possibilities, and besides, each one has their own goals, so, this is a completely personal matter. The only thing that’s required from the apprentice who begins in this path is that he reserves his energy without having any sexual activity until he reaches the energy body. Once there, how he uses his sexual energy is a personal matter.
“And why don’t you explain all this clearly in your conferences?” I asked, a little annoyed.
“Did you already see what kind of people come to hear me? Almost everybody has holes.” He gave as an example a woman who helped to organize his events in Mexico; “She has great big holes like this,” he said, making an exaggerated gesture with his hands. “That’s why she doesn’t get anything I tell her. People’s energy barely reaches the height of their big toe, and for them, the only way out is total abstinence. I don’t see any other way. My experience is that nobody is willing, however; if any one of them were able to increase their energy level, even a little, they would find the answers for what they’re looking for by themselves.”