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126: Self-importance Kills; Realize That Self-Importance Is An Implacable Poison. We Have No Time Left; Urgency Is What We Need. It Is Now Or Never!

(Encounters with the Nagual by Armando Torres)

“Self-importance is deadly, it stops the free flow of the energy and that is fatal. It is responsible for our end as individuals, and one day it will finish us as a species. When a warrior learns how to toss it aside, his spirit unfolds, jubilant, like a wild animal liberated from its cage and set free.”

“Self-importance can be fought in various ways, but first of all it is necessary to know that it’s there. If you have a defect and you recognize it, half the work is done already!”

“So, above all, realize it. Take a board and write on it: ‘Self- importance kills’, and hang it in the most visible spot in the house. Read that sentence every day, try to remember it while you work, meditate about it. Maybe the moment in which its meaning penetrates your interior will arrive, and you decide to do something. To realize it is, by and of itself, a great help, because the fight against the self generates its own impetus.”

“Ordinarily, self-importance feeds on our feelings, ranging from the desire to get along with people and be accepted by others, to arrogance and sarcasm. But its favorite area of action is pity, for oneself and for those who surround us. In order to stalk it, above all we have to deconstruct our emotions into their smallest particles, and detect the sources that nurture them.”

“Feelings rarely present themselves in a pure form. They disguise themselves. To hunt them down like rabbits, we have to proceed very delicately and strategically, because they are quick and we cannot reason with them.”

“We begin with the most obvious things, like: How seriously do I take myself? How attached am I? To what do I dedicate my time? These are things that we can begin to change, accumulating enough energy to liberate a little bit of attention that in turn will allow us to go deeper into the exercise.”

“For example, instead of spending hours watching television, going shopping or talking to our friends about stupid stuff, we could dedicate a small part of that time to do physical exercises, to recapitulate our history, or go alone to a park, take our shoes off and walk barefoot on the grass. It seems simple, but with those practices our sensorial panorama changes. We recover something that was always there, which we had given up for lost.”

“Starting from those small changes, we can analyze elements more difficult to detect, where our vanity is projected into insanity. For example, what are my convictions? Do I consider myself immortal? Am I special? Do I deserve to be noticed? This kind of analysis enters into the field of beliefs – the very core of our feelings – so you should undertake it through internal silence, and make a very fervent commitment to honesty. Otherwise, the mind will have its own way, and use all kind of justifications.”

Carlos added that these exercises should be made with a sense of alarm, because it truly is about surviving a powerful attack.

“Realize that self-importance is an implacable poison. We have no time left; urgency is what we need. It is now or never!”

“Once you have dissected your feelings, you should learn how to channel your efforts beyond human concerns, to the place of no pity. For seers, that place is an area in our luminosity, every bit as functional as the area of rationality. We can learn how to evaluate the world from a detached point of view, just as we learned, as children, to judge it from the point of view of reason. The only difference is that detachment as a focal point is much closer to the warrior’s temper.”

“Without that precaution, the emotional turbulence stirred up by the exercise of stalking our self-importance can be so painful that we may turn to suicide or insanity. When the apprentice learns how to contemplate the world from the position of no pity, perceiving that behind all situations which imply an energetic drain there is an impersonal universe, he stops being just a knot of feelings and becomes a fluid being.”

“The problem with compassion is that it forces us to see the world through self-indulgence. A warrior without compassion is a person who has located his will at the center of indifference, and he doesn’t soothe himself by saying ‘poor me’. He is an individual who feels no pity for his weaknesses, and he has learned to laugh at himself.”

“A way to define self-importance, is to understand it as the projection of our weaknesses through social interaction. It is like the screams and threatening postures some small animals adopt, to hide the fact that they don’t really have any defenses. We are important because we are afraid, and the more fear, the more ego.”

“However, and fortunately for warriors, self-importance has a weak point: It depends on recognition to maintain itself. It’s like a kite that needs a current of air to ascend and to stay high; otherwise, it will fall down and break. If we don’t grant any importance to the importance, it’s finished.”

“Knowing this, an apprentice renovates his relationships. He learns how to escape those who confirm his self, and frequents those who don’t care about anything human. He looks for criticism, not flattery. Every so often, he starts a new life, erases his history, changes his name, explores new personalities, and annuls the suffocating persistence of his ego. He puts himself in situations where his authentic self is forced to take control. A power hunter doesn’t have pity; he doesn’t look for recognition in anybody else’s eyes.”

“The state of no pity is surprising. One attempts to reach it step by step, through years of continuous pressure, but it happens suddenly, like an instantaneous vibration that breaks our mold and allows us to look at the world with a serene smile. For the first time in many years, we feel free of the terrible weight of being ourselves, and we see the reality that surrounds us. Once there, we are not alone. An incredible push awaits us, help which comes from the core of the Eagle and transports us in a microsecond to universes of sobriety and sanity.”

“When we don’t have any pity for ourselves, we can face the impact of our personal extinction with elegance. Death is the force that gives the warrior value and moderation. Only by looking through the eyes of death can we notice that we are not important. Then death comes to live by our side, and begins to tell us its secrets.”

“The contact with death’s unchangeable nature leaves an indelible mark on the characterof the apprentice. He understands, once and for all, that all the energy of the universe is connected. There is no world of objects, related to each other through physical laws. What exists is a panorama of luminous emanations, inextricably bundled together, within which we can make interpretations as far as the power of our attention will allow. All our actions count, because they release avalanches in the infinite. For that reason, none is worth more than any other, none is more important than any other.”

“That vision destroys the tendency we have to be indulgent with ourselves. Witnessing this universal bond, the warrior is prey to contradictory feelings. On the one hand, indescribable joy and a supreme and impersonal reverence toward all that exists. On the other, a sense of the inevitable, and a deep sadness that has nothing to do with self-pity; a sadness that comes from the breast of infinity, a blast of solitude which will never leave him again.”

“That purified feeling gives the warrior the sobriety, the subtlety, and the silence that he needs to venture there, where all human reasoning fail. Under such conditions, self-importance can’t sustain itself.”


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